THE SUGAR OF MERCY

It’s officially February, and I’m wondering if I’ve been trapped in some sort of time lapse. Where did 2015 go? Or 2014, for that matter. Goodness, I graduated college in 2013 … and started working for the company I’d always dreamt about.

Disney.

I’ve had Jeremiah 29:11 memorized since I could say, “Da Da!” It’s been a verse that I’ve cried over and clung to. It’s also how I started my 2-minute sermon in one of my Bible classes in college.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says The Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not harm you — plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)

But, see, we have our plans, too. Plans that we justify as God’s plans for us. It’s like, “Hey God. I really want what You have for me, but see, I want my dreams — and if it’s Your will, open the door.”

So we basically shove open the door, and once we’re in, we are like, “Thanks, Jesus! Now if you could show me favor and bless me, too, that’d be awesome!”

I’m guilty of that. Really, really guilty.

And much like your Mom bringing you a chocolate sundae after a stupid boy takes someone else to the spring dance, here comes Jesus with a smile on His face, Band-Aids in one hand for your scraped knees, a Kleenex box in another for your falling tears, and His arms wide open for a hug to mend your broken heart.

His living water is infused with the richest of mercies — a dose that is infinitely better than a spoonful of sugar, and keeps on curing. A dose that says, “It’s okay, my child. I forgive you. Try this way instead.”

Before I get too ahead of myself, I’ll back up a bit, and explain the reasoning behind my Biblical synopsis.

It was always my dream to be Cinderella at Walt Disney World, and after countless auditions, thousands of dollars spent on airfare, gas, and lodging, almost two years of my life, three very hopeful chances that ended in devastating dead-ends, and fifteen buckets of tears, I gave up my dream.

Well, let me rephrase that. In better words, I finally surrendered it. Sure, I’d “given” it to God many times, but I realized that I only gave it up if it had the ending that I wanted. Which was me in a beautiful blue dress, heeled slippers and a blonde up-do, greeting children from a lit-up golden carriage riding down Main Street.

And it took me an apartment lease, the continual struggle of paying every bill, the loneliness that surrounded me in a sea of people, and the excessive exhaustion that followed me to work seven days a week, to realize that my dream had become a burden. And I’d carried it long enough.

Cinderella didn’t have to wait on the approval of her Stepmother before she was transformed into a princess, and I realized I didn’t have to wait on a single casting director’s approval for my transformation either.

And with that light bulb of a thought, I realized something much greater …

I’d rather be Ella every day in rags, with her unwavering kindness and constant courage, than Cinderella four times a week in Princess Fairytale Hall.

“I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (MSG)

Through it all, Jesus showed up every time. In the car on the nights when I took a tear-filled drive to Chick-Fil-A to get an IceDream cone. On my knees in front of the TV soaking in every word that Joel Olsteen was speaking to me. In the Castle breakroom talking to a co-worker about Jesus, and in the solitude of Sunday morning church.

He knew what He was doing, and will forever know. I didn’t. He brought me home, to the exact place that He wanted me — which was in the dead center of His will and His plan for my life.

With that said, today is my last day with the Walt Disney Company.

I sat in front of Cinderella Castle that had, in more ways than one, become apart of me. The biggest of smiles — and some tears, too — came to my face when I thought of the hundreds of little girls who trusted me, a Fairy Godmother-in-Training, to turn them into a princess. In their honor, I’ve started my first children’s book. “Meanwhile in the Boutique … ” is based on true, and very inspirational, events. To the friendships that I made while I was there, whether they were for a season or for a lifetime, I am a better person because of each of you. And last, but never least, the magic of Disney will forever be within me.

I gave Cinderella one last hug and told her thank you. For the dream I have always had, and will always carry with me.

Do I have any clue what’s next? Not a single one, but I do know that once I took my limitations off — a whole world of opportunity stared back at me through the promise-filled mirror.

The future that I hope and pray for is filled with happiness, surrender, and faithfulness.

And as Ella would remind me, “kindness, courage and a little bit of magic.”